Know About the Process
Children can sense when their parents are worried or frightened. The more you know about the surgical and recovery process, the better you will feel it. Ask the surgeon questions.
Read "Preparing Your Child for Surgery." (Read in English / Read in Spanish )
Schedule a Pre-surgical Tour
The certified Child Life specialist (CCLS) can provide an individualized tour to help you and your child learn about the surgical process. During the tour, you and your child will have the opportunity to visit the surgery center, meet staff members and ask questions about the procedure. The CCLS will also provide hands-on, age-appropriate preparation for your child so they know what to expect on the day of surgery. To schedule a pre-surgical tour, please call the Child Life specialist at 703-776-3906.
Be Honest
You may feel hesitant to talk to your child about surgery or discomfort because you don't want to frighten him or her. It's important to be honest and open with your child. When children do not understand why they are at the hospital, they might assume the worst and hold secret fears about what might happen. In simple terms that he can understand, tell your child why he is going to have surgery. If you know that something on his body will hurt or feel uncomfortable, say so. Make sure to explain that the nurses and doctors are there to help make him as comfortable as possible.
Watch Your Words
You can help your child by preparing them for their upcoming procedure in simple terms that they can understand. Talk about the doctor "helping" or "fixing" a certain part of your child's body. It is okay to use the word "opening" but better to avoid the word "cut." For instance, explain, "The doctor is going to fix the bump on your tummy" rather than "The doctor is going to make a cut on your tummy." Avoid ambiguous phrases such as "the doctor is going to put you to sleep" as many
children associate that with having a pet put to sleep and dying. Instead, explain that the anesthesiologist or "sleep medicine" doctor will give special medicine to make sure you are asleep the entire surgery and not feeling anything that the surgeon is doing. Emphasize that the doctor will stop giving the medicine when the surgery is all finished and it is time to wake up.
Encourage Discussion
Ask your child how they are feeling about their upcoming surgery; this open communication can help identify any fears, concerns or misconceptions about the procedure. Ask your child if they would like to visit the hospital ahead of time for a pre-surgical tour. If your child asks you a question and you don't know the answer, it is okay to say "I'm not sure, but I will find out."
Validate Your Child's Feelings
It is normal for children to feel frightened, angry, anxious or frustrated. Some children may cry. Tell your child that is it OK to have those feelings and it is OK to cry. Reassuring your child. No matter how old or young your child is- offer as much emotional and physical reassurance as possible. Emphasize that their hospital stay is temporary. Be sure to tell your child that it is not their fault and that surgery does not happen because of something they did wrong.
Offer Opportunities for Control
Let your child help you pack a bag for the hospital. Allow your child to choose a special item (stuffed animal, blanket, toy, book, hand-held game, phone, music player, "good luck item," etc.) to bring and keep with him throughout the day of surgery.
Read Books with Your Child About Going to the Hospital
A list of books can be found at the end of the booklet "Preparing Your Child for Surgery" (Read in English / Read in Spanish )